


the rolling tide

by goldminegoldmine



Series: ace jongin [5]
Category: EXO (Band), SHINee
Genre: Aromantic, Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Autochorissexual Character, Autochorissexuality, Canon Compliant, Kim Jonghyun/Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taemin, M/M, Multi, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 16:46:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4443959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldminegoldmine/pseuds/goldminegoldmine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Companion to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/7772753">mama called you baby center stage</a>, <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/3917218">pas de deux</a>, <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4190055">my feet first, then  yours</a>, and <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4295115">one, two, and three</a></p><p>Jonghyun's point of view; follows Jonghyun and Taemin's relationship, and their relationship with Jongin both individually and as a pair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the rolling tide

Taemin is hard to read.

He doesn't hide on purpose, but the way he carries himself is separate from the way he feels. Jonghyun can look at his face and have no idea what's happening behind it, what he’s thinking, what he sees.

It’s one of the ways in which they're opposites.

Taemin was like this as a kid too, easy at hiding his exhaustion and insecurity and homesickness. Quick to smile and slow to cry. Eager to appear older than he was, older than all of them even, with his baby’s face and little frame. Taemin is hard to read, which isn't new. What's new is how much energy Jonghyun has been spending _trying_ to read him.

He catches himself watching Taemin, trying to pick apart the meaning behind the movements of his lips, the set of his shoulders, the way his hands interact. He wants the exact words behind Taemin’s pose as he props all his weight up on the wall after dancing for six hours instead of the “I’m fine, let’s do one more,” that comes out of his mouth.

He wants to get inside Taemin's mind, more than usual.

He’s not sure where it comes from or when it started, but he kind of wants to get inside Taemin's body too.

Without meaning to, he starts looking at Taemin's lips. Watches him speak, eat, sing; his mouth turns into sort of an obsession and then a fantasy and then Jonghyun has been thinking about kissing Taemin for five minutes instead of listening to him talk.

He tries to regard his own feelings with objectivity. Thinks of it like this: if he wants to kiss Taemin - never mind the why or the when or the how of the desire - if he wants to kiss Taemin then maybe he should.

So he does.

Taemin is beautiful and confident and odd and has gorgeous lips that Jonghyun can’t read but he doesn't push Jonghyun away when he asks for a kiss. He tastes good like saltwater. His mouth opens against Jonghyun’s like Jonghyun had hoped it would, and he reciprocates the press of Jonghyun’s body too.

“Do you want to?” Jonghyun asks into Taemin’s mouth, pushing just a fraction forward with his hips.

He swallows Taemin’s gasp and the “Yeah” that comes after.

It allows a second level of communication between them when Jonghyun first strips Taemin of his clothes. When they laugh together as they touch each other for the first time. When they come together haphazardly, clashing limbs in a brash sort of harmony.

Jonghyun supposes it makes sense that Taemin communicates well with his body.

“Ahh fuck, hyung, that feels good,” Taemin says, choppy and breathy, and that’s as direct as Taemin has been with his words in a while so Jonghyun twists his hand again, gets a moan out of him, the responsive honesty he’s been craving.

Taemin gives back without hesitation, gets a hand down the front of Jonghyun’s pants and grins as Jonghyun loses his breath.

“Good?” Taemin asks.

“God, yeah. Good.”

Jonghyun closes his eyes for a long time, first just to feel and then to rest for a moment as his legs stop shaking.

“Taeminnie, I want to have sex with you,” he says once they’re not touching anymore, just lying together and breathing hard.

“What do you think we just did?” Taemin asks, smirk playing on his face. This expression is no mystery.

“No, I mean again. I want to have sex with you on a regular basis,” Jonghyun clarifies. He pokes Taemin in the side; Taemin giggles and his stomach goes concave. They’re mostly naked and out in the open air. It’s refreshing.

“Sounds good to me, hyung.”

-

Jonghyun finds Jinki in the kitchen, his back curved over as he stirs something, his hair messy and too long.

"Hyung?"

Jinki turns towards Jonghyun, all the planes of his face soft in grey windowlight.

"I have something to tell you, I think," Jonghyun says. He's not nervous, too comfortable in his old relationship with Jinki and his new relationship with Taemin for real nerves, but there's still a thrumming in his chest.

Jinki puts his spoon down. "What's up?"

"I'm, uh." Jonghyun swallows, goes for it. "Taemin and I are sleeping together."

Jinki's eyebrows go all the way up and his mouth drops open a little. "Seriously?"

Jonghyun nods his affirmation. "We aren't dating or anything, we just. We've just been... together a few times and I wanted you to know."

"Thank you?" The wheels are visible spinning in Jinki’s skull. "Thank you for telling me, I'm just. Surprised, I guess."

"I know," Jonghyun laughs softly. "I was surprised too, and I’m the one who initiated it. I just. I don't want you to be in the dark, and I don't want you to worry about this or about the group."

Jinki is quick to shake his head. "I'm not worried. I trust you."

It's raining. Jonghyun can hear the sound of it so faintly over top of the sound of the heater running and the almost softer sound of Jinki's voice. It's all very quiet. Even Jinki's acceptance and help, though it always has a quietly solid quality, is muffled like dirt after rain.

"I know it's strange," Jonghyun says. "I know, I remember when he was a baby, although I guess I was too. But we're grown up more now, and it's easy. Not easy like it doesn't have meaning, because it does. It does, I love him and he loves me."

"Are you in love with him?" Jinki asks, not like he's accusing, just like he's curious.

"No," Jonghyun says and then pauses. "Maybe, but only in the same way that I'm in love with you."

Jinki lets out a shock of a laugh. "You're -"

Jonghyun waves him off. "Like I'm in love with your or Kibum or Minho. It’s hard not to be, but it doesn't mean anything outside of the relationship we already have. I'm half in love with you, but I don't want anything else from you."

Jinki relaxes, attentive and contemplating. "But with Taemin -"

"With Taemin it's a little bit different," Jonghyun nods. "I don't know. Maybe we're just young and frustrated and want to explore, but the desire is there. And it's fine, I think. I just don't want you to worry that us having sex will affect anything else because I really, honestly think it won't."

To Jinki's credit he keeps any discomfort from showing on his face. "I'm not worried," he says again, firm.

Jonghyun blows out a breath he didn't realize he'd been keeping in and folds himself into Jinki's side, squeezes him hard around the waist in thanks. Jinki gives him a few quick pats on the back, reassuring in his awkward physicality. Every trace of fear is gone. Jinki never has to say much to ground him and make him feel safe.

-

It’s late and Jonghyun and Taemin are in bed, as they often are lately, not touching, just talking. Taemin has been chewing on his bottom lip for a good five minutes.

He’s been silent for a while and Jonghyun figures he’s just tired, but then, “Can I ask you something?”

“’Course.”

“Have you noticed Jongin acting strange?”

“Jongin always acts strange.”

“You know what I mean. Stranger than usual.”

Jonghyun turns onto his side so he can see Taemin’s face, brows all worried up and muscles  tense.

“Lovers’ spat?” Jonghyun asks, more than willing to be both couple counselor and fuckbuddy.

“Shut up,” Taemin says, kicking at Jonghyun’s shin. “I’m serious. He’s been acting… I don’t know, jealous or something. Possessive. Touchier than usual.”

He tells Jonghyun about how Jongin acted on the set of _We Got Married_ , the jealousy, the snapping, the grabby, flustered touches.

Jonghyun nods. “Hmm. Makes sense, I guess. You can’t have a wife and a husband at the same time.” He laughs a little but Taemin doesn’t, so Jonghyun sobers. “Do you think he’s jealous of us too?”

Jonghyun never thought anyone had the ability to come be tween Jongin and Taemin and he feels a twinge of guilt thinking that he might have changed things between them.

“Why would he be? He doesn’t have anything to do with us.”

“I mean, you guys always seemed so secure, I didn’t think sleeping with me would make him jealous. I figured you’d talked about it and everything, open relationship or whatever,” Jonghyun says, confused.

“What are you talking about, open relationship? We’re best friends?”

And that’s what Jonghyun wasn’t expecting. Jonghyun has always seen their friendship like a constant; they’ve been joined at the hip since he’s known them, one always with an arm around the other, solid. He likes to tease Taemin about it, the absurd closeness they have, their unbreakable patterns of secrets and handholding and sleeping in each other’s beds. Taemin has always taken his teasing without protest. Jonghyun just assumed that they were together in some sense of the word.

“Wait, you and Jongin _aren’t_ fucking?”

-

Jonghyun likes to think of himself as an observant person. He likes to be aware: of his surroundings, of his own mind, of the people he cares about. He finds that paying attention, _really_ paying attention to things like emotions and body language makes communication easier. It makes happiness easier, almost, to be aware of everything else too.

He’s been around them for years, Taemin and Jongin. He’s watched them grow from little boys together, watched them grow into dancers side by side. Watched them get taller, change in tangible ways and always come back together the in same way.

Jonghyun has known them for years, but now he really starts _noticing_ them.

He sees Jongin – who has been up all night and drags his feet as he walks – lift up at Taemin’s finger under his chin. Taemin smiles at him and he un-slumps, gets three inches taller.

He sees Taemin watching Jongin as he stretches, how Taemin’s face gets soft and transparent, none of his walls left standing. And as Taemin walks over to Jongin, how Jongin moves to sit as close to him as possible until their outstretched legs are lined up all the way, and when they bend forward to touch their toes their heads come together.

Jonghyun has never read them wrong.

-

“You’re good at keeping secrets.”

Jonghyun looks up. Taemin, from the other end of the couch, doesn’t say it like a question.

“I try to be,” Jonghyun says.

Taemin is picking at a rip in his jeans, pulling little pieces of thread and denim away and widening it, his knee slowly forcing its way out.

“Do you have a secret?” Jonghyun asks when Taemin doesn’t elaborate.

“I might,” Taemin says slowly. “I’m not sure if. There’s part that’s a secret and part that might not be, I just. It’s about Jongin and I just really want to talk to someone. And you’re… you, I feel like I could tell you.”

Jonghyun smiles. “Aw, Taeminnie, thanks. If you want to talk to me I’ll listen.”

“Okay, um.” Taemin tugs at his jeans hard and the hole widens by an inch. Jonghyun scoots across the couch and takes his fingers away, one by one to hold them lightly between his own.

“Um?” Jonghyun asks, giving him a smile that he hopes is reassuring.

“Jongin told me he’s asexual,” Taemin says. Jonghyun wasn’t expecting that, doesn’t have a completely solid grasp on what that means exactly, but he’ll look it up later. He nods at Taemin to continue.

“Which makes sense, and isn’t really what I wanted to talk about because that’s just Jongin. That’s just who he is, and it’s good to know and I’m happy for him, he’s figuring things out for himself.”

Just talking about Jongin has made Taemin’s hands relax.

“But god, something happened the other day and he’s been really… intimate with me since. Really comfortable and physical and it’s just. It’s a lot to handle.” Taemin blows out a sigh.

“What happened the other day?” Jonghyun asks, not wanting to push but almost painfully curious.

“Ahh, he’d be so embarrassed if I told you and he found out. You have to promise not to tell him I told you, okay?”

Jonghyun holds out his pinkie. “Promise.”

“Fuck, okay, well we were practicing Pretty Boy right, for a few hours and I could tell Jongin was finally getting into it. You know how he usually holds back.”

Jonghyun nods.

“Well he was loosening up and he looked really good, and at the end of the choreography he just. Fell down. I thought he was hurt for a second, but then he wouldn’t look at me and,” Taemin is hardly breathing. “He fucking came in his pants, hyung. He actually had a _spontaneous orgasm_. While dancing, with me. He just –“

Taemin shudders and Jonghyun can’t help the surprised, open-mouthed smile that drops onto his face.

“Wow,” he says.

“Yeah,” Taemin echoes. “Fucking wow, and I told him I wouldn’t tell anyone, but god it was _amazing_ , and now he’s acting different. I think it’s just that he feels even more comfortable around me now which is good, but. He’s being _so_ touchy with me.”

“Touchier than usual? Is that even possible?”

“I know right, I didn’t think so either, but here we are. It’s just, he’s asexual and he doesn’t want relationships but he acts so _romantic_ with me sometimes, and he fucking let me see him come from dancing to our fucking song, and it’s just so much.”

Taemin ends on a whine and slumps over into Jonghyun like he can’t keep himself up. Jonghyun doesn’t blame him.

“Do you want to be with him?” Jonghyun asks. He knows that in some way the answer is yes, but to what extent he’s not sure.

“No. I don’t know. I don’t want anything from him that he doesn’t want to give.”

Taemin turns his face into Jonghyun’s shirt.

“But I would take _anything_ he gave me, you know?”

Jonghyun smiles, runs his fingers through Taemin’s hair. “I know.”

-

Jonghyun is inspired by his friends. He draws from them, all the talented, beautiful people around him, lets them influence the things he writes.

Sometimes he’ll write songs with someone specific in mind – Kibum or Jongin or Taemin or Zitao – and he’ll spin them a little, change them around so they sound like typical love songs. But the origin is platonic and close to his core. It makes him more invested in what he writes. Songs steeped in an almost secret sort of passion.

Jonghyun writes Pretty Boy mostly to poke at Taemin and Jongin’s image. Their publically recognized friendship, their widely known beauty. Pretty Boy is the most fun writing he’s had in a while; it’s catchy and it flows out of him quick and he’s excited to see what comes out of it.

Everyone knows about Pretty Boy.

What people don’t know is that he’s written other songs about Taemin and Jongin. Songs about having a years-long bond with someone, a comfort level, a perfect fit. Songs about things that seem imaginary like soulmates but are based in real feelings, real people.

Mostly they don’t see the light of day. Mostly they’re like pages in a journal, a way to record and remember the people he knows and the things that he sees. Sometimes he releases them, but even then it’s under the cover of changed pronouns and shifted details.

He holds them close.

-

A strange discomfort hangs over Jonghyun for a few days after Taemin tells him Jongin’s secret.

It’s like his stomach is twisted up and his pulse is a half-beat too fast. It’s hard to pinpoint where the feeling is coming from, and he spends a lot of time with a hand over his heart trying to figure it out. It’s like he’s eaten a meal that hasn’t settled, or like he’s guilty for something but can’t remember what.

He sees Jongin in the hallway at the studio and he smiles at him; Jongin greets him and Jonghyun realizes: he’s uncomfortable _because_ of Jongin. Not because of his identity or because of his relationship with Taemin. He’s not even uncomfortable knowing personal things about him, because that’s how it is being around Taemin: knowing things about Jongin is an inevitability.

Watching Jongin walk away, Jonghyun has the strong urge to follow him. So he does. Catches up with him and he’s not even sure what he wants to say except –

Except he wants to say _something_ because for all that he knows about Jongin, most of it is because of Taemin. Jonghyun can count the number of real conversations he’s had with Jongin on two hands, and maybe that’s what’s twisting him up, the fact that he knows so much about a person he doesn’t really _know_.

So he runs and catches up and asks, “Hey, what are you doing right now? Want to get some coffee?”

Jongin looks confused but curious. He says yes.

-

Jonghyun gets to know Jongin sort of forcefully. Pushes to spend time with him, asks him questions, gathers up all the information and interaction he can, always keeps his voice gentle and innocent in case Jongin scares away.

He learns things.

Like how Jongin is open about his sexuality without being direct. He talks about his preferences or lack thereof without ever mentioning his labels, is curious about sex and relationships while very vocally emphasizing his disinterest.

He learns how much of Jongin’s mind is on Taemin, how much their friendship really means to him.

Jonghyun learns that Jongin opens up with his body and his hands after a while, is quick to touch when he feels comfortable but quick to tense when he doesn’t.

He learns that Jongin reminds him of Jinki sometimes, the way he skirts around things, the way you have to ask him direct questions to get real answers, the odd way he touches Jonghyun sometimes, how he hugs him back. How Taemin describes him, which Jonghyun finds to be true, as being somewhat oblivious to his own behavior. 

He learns that Jongin laughs loud at his jokes. That he fiddles with his fingers when he doesn’t know what to say. That he likes his coffee with too much sugar. That he doesn’t mind silence as long as it’s mutual.

“I like Jongin,” Jonghyun announces to Taemin one afternoon.

Taemin laughs, loud and bright. “That’s good, hyung. I like him too.”

-

Jonghyun has never seen Taemin as unchecked in his happiness as he is when Jongin kisses him.

Taemin kisses Jonghyun then too, yells, “Hyung, Jongin kissed me!” and bounds up and presses his smile to Jonghyun’s mouth. He has to break away in a giggle after a moment, grinning too big for a kiss.

“He just came up to me and asked if he could kiss me! Said he was curious about kissing and that I was the only one that would understand, and it was so cute. So _cute_ , he was awkward about it but it was still good. God, I wonder if he’ll want to keep kissing me.”

Jonghyun laughs and squeezes Taemin’s face in his hands. “Look at you, Taemin-ah. So in love. Your cheeks are so hot. You’re adorable.”

Taemin ducks out of Jonghyun’s grip. “Shut up, I’m not in love.”

“Sure,” Jonghyun says.

Taemin blushes harder, gives Jonghyun another smiling a kiss. “I’m just pretty happy, that’s all.”

-

Jonghyun and Taemin do most of their talking after sex.

After sex, Jonghyun’s wish to know Taemin’s thoughts comes true and then some. There’s something about their atmosphere when they’re in bed – or on the couch or the floor – that allows for conversation. The warmth and intimacy and looseness.

After sex, Taemin will spill the details of his relationship with Jongin.

He’ll describe how he felt with Jongin’s hands on his skin, how everything shifted when Jongin’s lips were on his neck. He’ll describe the littlest touches with the same amount of reverence in his voice as there is when Jonghyun’s mouth is on his cock.

“God hyung, he spent like half an hour just playing with my hands, like. It’s unreal. It’s almost better than sex.”

Jonghyun pinches his side.

“No offense. I mean, it’s the same. I get so hard it’s ridiculous. He barely even has to do anything.”

“So in love,” Jonghyun teases. Taemin just smiles.

-

Jongin catches them in the act. Walks in on Jonghyun buried deep in Taemin’s ass, doesn’t knock, and just stands there for a minute, looking at Taemin, Taemin looking back, Jonghyun trying not to come just from the heat and the shock of being caught.

Later, when Taemin sneaks up behind him, wraps an arm around his stomach and says, “Guess what? Jongin wants to watch us fuck for real,” Jonghyun gets almost instantly hard, pushes back against Taemin with his hips.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Taemin says, and grinds into him.

“Fuck, yes. A thousand times yes,” Jonghyun laughs, completely breathless.

-

He can’t believe it even as he sinks to his knees in front of Taemin, Jongin’s eyes on his back, and gets his mouth around Taemin’s cock. Can’t believe that they’re letting him in like this, that Jongin wants this, that they all do.

Even as Taemin sets him down and fucks him, as Jongin looks at Taemin and Taemin looks at Jongin and they both make his blood rush fast in his ears, he can’t believe his luck.

It should be awkward, at least a little, but it’s not.

Maybe it’s because Taemin and Jongin don’t have the capacity to be awkward around each other anymore. Maybe it’s because Jonghyun refuses to let it be awkward, or because Taemin has a surprising amount of maturity when it comes to handling sex and his relationships, or because it just feels too _good_.

Even after he comes into Taemin’s mouth, Jongin kissing Taemin makes Jonghyun stir in impossible ways. His chest twists all the way up when Jongin kisses him, too; he’s amazed by them, touched, boneless.

Falling asleep with them is cramped but easy.

-

“Hyung?”

Jonghyun peers at Jinki’s sleeping face. They don’t have anywhere to be for a while but Jonghyun sort of needs Jinki to be awake right now.

Taemin and Jongin left together in the morning, with a deep kiss from Taemin and a tiny one from Jongin, and Jonghyun fell asleep again to his sore limbs and a feeling of satisfaction.

But since he woke again his mind has been turning, turning, not worrying just reliving. Thinking about them both and what they did and how he feels full to bursting with it. He can’t lie there alone with it anymore.

“Hyung, wake up. Jinki, hyung. Wake up.” Jonghyun shakes Jinki’s shoulder, gentle and firm. Jinki groans and moves but his eyes don’t open, so Jonghyun gets into bed with him, squeezes in to press against him.

“Hyung,” he whispers, stroking lightly up Jinki’s arm. Jinki’s eyes blink open. “Hi, good morning.”

“Mmm,” Jinki says, rubbing his eyes. “Hi?”

“Hi, sorry. It’s morning, everyone’s up. I just wanted to talk to you.” Jinki’s face is all scrunched up and half asleep, pillow lines on his cheek. “Sorry, I’ll let you wake up first.”

Jinki stretches all his long limbs out, brings them down, draping a leg and an arm over Jonghyun. He closes his eyes again, humming.

Jonghyun pokes him in the side. “No, don’t go to sleep again. I want to talk to you.”

“I’m awake,” Jinki mumbles.

“Okay,” Jonghyun says to the top of Jinki’s head. “I had sex with Taemin and Jongin last night.”

Jinki’s head jerks up and knocks into Jonghyun’s chin. “Shit. Ow. Sorry. You did _what_ last night?”

“I had sex with Taemin and Jongin. Or, well, I had sex with Taemin while Jongin watched.”

“Jesus,” Jinki says. “How did that… what? Um, how was that?”

Jonghyun sighs, snuggles close to Jinki’s warm sleeping body. “It was incredible.”

“Are you dating both of them now?”

“No,” Jonghyun chuckles. “Jongin is asexual and sort of with Taemin. And I’m sort of with Taemin though we’re just friends, but I’m not with Jongin. Though he’s my friend too.” He stops to ponder. “It was good, though. I don’t know that it will change our relationship, but it was good. It was really good.”

“Jongin’s asexual?” Jinki asks, his face spreading into a sleepy smile.

“Yeah,” Jonghyun says, though he doesn’t know why that’s what Jinki’s latched on to.

Jinki just smiles wider. “Ahh, that’s good, I didn’t know that,” he says. He sounds a little giddy, ducks his head into Jonghyun’s chest. “Can we sleep a little more?”

Jonghyun smiles at him, pets his hair a little. “Yeah,” he sighs, closes his eyes, curls into Jinki’s warmth.

-

The next time Jonghyun sees Jongin, Jongin turns so red it’s almost alarming. But it fades surprisingly fast as he slides up to Jonghyun and puts a hand on his lower back, just to say hi. It’s reminiscent of how he is with Taemin, and it makes Jonghyun’s chest constrict a little, thinking about how open Jongin has been with him, how willing.

Now when Taemin talks to Jonghyun about Jongin, Jonghyun can talk back. He’s built this relationship and it’s entirely different from Taemin’s relationship with Jongin and it’s separate from the relationship Jonghyun and Taemin have.

It’s sort of delicate and sweet, a myriad of soft, unsure touches. They’ve gained strength, decisiveness, but it’s still new and safe and platonic, which is where they both want it to stay.

Standing with Taemin, watching EXO onstage, Jonghyun is drawn to Jongin more than usual. He mirrors Taemin, eyes following Jongin around the stage like he’s the only one there. He chuckles when Jongin makes faces at the audience, stands in awe at the way his body moves.

When they bow, Jongin catches their eyes from the side of the stage, smiles with his whole face, and waves.

Jonghyun slings his arm around Taemin’s shoulders. “Your Kim Kai is so cute. I want to keep him.”

“He’s mine, back off,” Taemin says, and then hums. “Unless he wants to be yours too.”

“We’ll leave that up to him.”

-

Jonghyun has been thinking.

He’s been watching Taemin with Jongin and listening to Taemin talk about Jongin and he’s been thinking.

He texts Jongin and they meet up for dinner, easy and familiar now, Jongin in loose clothes and soft hair and Jonghyun’s mind spinning.

“So,” he says after they order. “I’ve been thinking.”

“That’s new,” Jongin says with a smirk.

“Shh. I’ve been thinking about something different than usual.” Jonghyun kicks Jongin’s ankle lightly under the table. “I want to talk about sex.”

“How is that different than usual?”

Jonghyun kicks him again. “I wanted to propose something to you, it doesn’t necessarily involve you but. I’m just wondering…”

Jongin raises an eyebrow. “I’m asexual, hyung, not naïve. Tell me.”

“Okay. How would you feel if I talked about you while I’m fucking Taemin, then?”

Jongin blushes but it doesn’t seem to faze him anymore. “Um. Tell me more?”

“Well. I was thinking. Taemin obviously loved you watching us, and he loves talking about you and… what you do. I just think he’d like it if I talked about you. Made him think about you, you know? While we’re having sex. Nothing makes him react like you do. He responds so intensely to you.”

Jongin puts his face in his hands, and for a moment Jonghyun is afraid he’s gone too far. But when he takes his hands away he’s smiling so wide, and Jonghyun laughs in relief.

“Really? He really reacts differently to me?” Jongin asks.

“Are you kidding? Yeah, he does. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen.”

Jongin giggles and covers his mouth again. “Okay,” he says.

“Okay? Okay as in yes, you’d be fine with that?” Jonghyun asks.

“Yes, I’d be fine with that,” Jongin says like he can’t believe he’s saying it. He doesn’t look unsure.

“Don’t take this the wrong way Jonginnie, but I love you,” Jonghyun says.

Jongin just laughs.

-

They’re somewhere between their second and third round, Jonghyun sprawled out on top of Taemin, ass sore but cock almost hard again, Taemin’s hands smoothing up and down his sides.

Taemin’s phone lights up on the table; his background is a picture of him and Jongin, their cheeks pressed together, looking happy. Jonghyun smiles, feels a rush of affection for Taemin – for both of them. He kisses Taemin’s shoulder.

“Hey, I want you to close your eyes,” Jonghyun says, feeling inspired.

Taemin listens, and his eyelashes make shadows on his cheeks, traces of old eyeliner in contrast to his skin in the window light.

Jonghyun bends to press a kiss right to the center of Taemin’s chest, watches his mouth curl up in a tiny smile. He’s so lovely. Jonghyun wants to see that smile all the time.

“I want you to focus on my touch.” Jonghyun pets up Taemin’s stomach and across his ribs. “Nothing else.”

“Mmm, okay,” Taemin sighs.

“Okay,” Jonghyun says, running his thumbs over Taemin’s nipples. “I’m going to stop talking now.” He pinches lightly. “And I want you to keep your eyes closed and pretend I’m Jonginnie.”

The gasp that comes out of Taemin’s mouth is loud and a shusdder runs through his whole body. Jonghyun can feel it under his palms, how he shivers once, hard. _God_ , that’s amazing.

Jonghyun presses his face into Taemin’s skin, tastes him, feels the shivering against his lips. He closes his mouth around a nipple, scrapes with his teeth, hears Taemin’s moan long and soft and knows the fantasy has taken hold.

Jonghyun is a little lightheaded, energy thrumming all through him as he touches Taemin’s skin and feels Taemin react to the thought of someone else.

He nips along Taemin’s stomach, lets his lips drag lower, feels Taemin’s muscles shifting minutely with every dragging touch. Taemin isn’t usually quiet, but this takes him to a new level. Every little thing gets a sound from him: Jonghyun’s fingertips barely closing around his hipbone, his tongue down towards Taemin’s bellybutton, his thighs coming down to sit over Taemin’s legs. He’s making all these little contented noises, tiny gasps and quiet whines in a constant stream, unconscious. Jonghyun pets up the inside of Taemin’s thigh and he sighs and moans at the same time, hips moving minutely like he can’t help it.

It’s Jongin. He can tell, how Taemin completely lets go, lets himself respond in all the tiny ways he usually contains. How he unfolds like this, spreads himself out. Jonghyun can only imagine what Taemin would be like if Jongin were actually here. They must be really special together.

Jonghyun holds back his own sounds, doesn’t want to break the illusion. He moves lower, the flats of his hands pushing Taemin’s hips down just a little, and holds in a hum as he mouths over Taemin’s cock.

“Ah, fuck, Jonginnie,” Taemin breathes out and it stirs the arousal around in Jonghyun’s belly.

He takes Taemin in deeper, reaches around with one hand to feel himself, still open and wet from before. He looks around for the bottle of lube that’s always nearby, manages to open it with one hand and squeeze some into his palm. He replaces his mouth with his hand, slicks up Taemin’s cock to the rhythm of Taemin’s hitching breaths.

Jonghyun moves forward, kisses Taemin’s panting mouth softly, and sinks down on his cock all the way.

Taemin lets out a long, singing moan and Jonghyun holds in his own as he feels Taemin move inside him.

Taemin’s face is completely blown out like this, his eyelids fluttering, mouth wide open, skin flushed with color and shimmering. Jonghyun moves his hips once, twice, slow, picturing the way Jongin moves when he dances. Taemin groans out several broken syllables of Jongin’s name, reaching up to grip Jonghyun’s thighs, dig his nails in.

Jonghyun moves, letting the sensations in his own body come and wash over him, paying more attention to the way Taemin looks, the way he comes up to meet Jonghyun, the way his muscles contract and spasm, his stuttered “F– ah – _fuck,”_ as Jonghyun picks up his pace.

Jonghyun doesn’t close his eyes. He’s not sure how much time passes, but he rides Taemin until his legs are shaking and the muscles are burning up. Until Taemin is coming apart inside him with Jongin’s name on his breath and nothing touching his cock and Jonghyun feels it spike all the way through him, tugs on himself until he’s coming over Taemin’s stomach. He never closes his eyes.

Another tremor runs through Taemin at the feeling and it’s overwhelming, the vibration of it, how Taemin breathes Jongin’s name over and over. How Taemin doesn’t mind when Jonghyun collapses on him afterwards, how he opens his eyes and looks at Jonghyun and smiles even though it’s not Jongin there in the end.

Once he catches his breath, Taemin rolls into Jonghyun and says, “Where the fuck did that come from? Don’t get me wrong that was _amazing_ , but. Holy shit, it was a surprise.”

Jonghyun laughs and kisses Taemin on the tip of his nose. “I’m friends with Jonginnie too now, you know.”

-

Jongin finds them the next day, goes up to them, his gait a little shy.

“So? How was it?” he asks Taemin.

Taemin smiles wide, touches Jongin’s wrist. “It was great. I love you.”

“Ahh, stop.” Jongin grimaces, bows his head and knocks it against Taemin’s shoulder. “I love you too.”

He lifts his head, flicks his eyes to Jonghyun and back to Taemin and asks in a shy voice, “Tell me about it later?”

Taemin grins, hand tight around the back of Jongin’s neck as he almost whispers, “Tonight.”

-

“Hey everyone,” Jonghyun says into his mic, making his voice a little bit soft and low.

“Tonight I think I want to talk about friendship.

I have a soft spot for love songs, as you know. I’m sure most of us do. It’s good to write about love, it feels good to put those feelings into words and to feel through someone else’s song.

But if you really think about it, couldn’t any of those songs be about a friend?

Think about your favorite love song. If you switched around a few phrases or changed the details could it not be about your best friend?

I think it’s important to remember. Because romance is beautiful but friendships are just as important. My friends are what makes me happiest – isn’t that true for most of us?

I write love songs. Most of my songs are about love, but they’re inspired by different things. Many different types of love.

Tonight I’m going to play songs – some will be love songs, some won’t – and I want you to think about your friends.

Best friends, good friends, friends with benefits, childhood friends, close acquaintances, favorite coworkers. I want to give them the recognition, the legitimacy, poetry – the romance, even, that they deserve.

So here goes, and thank you for listening.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!!! also btw jinki is ace in this too. i'll write a fic about it
> 
> also sorry these aren't in a proper ~series i haven't had the time or the wifi to fix that


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